omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i think i have herpe
just one?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
