what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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