dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
