I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
