Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
