I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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