Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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