omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
