remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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