Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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