god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
