You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
