The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
a search helicopter?!
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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