I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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