a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
