youre lurking in front of me
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
