The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
