I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
