Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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