I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
