Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
