Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
