Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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