this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
