whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
