I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
