I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
