You made me cry and you don't even care
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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