return my video game
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
did you just send me my own nude
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
