You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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