The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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