I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
