How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
