You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
