sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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