So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
