Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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