It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Randomize
