Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
