Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
