yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
what is it with giant penises always finding me
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
