don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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