i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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