put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
