im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
