better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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