allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
