OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
