I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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