Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Randomize
